I really am not into conspiracy theories but sometimes I do wonder whether Hollywood is running a secret experiment to see how far (or, perhaps,
low would be more appropriate here) they can go before movie viewers notice that they are being made fools of. The recent decline in movie theater attendance may be an indicator that the public is waking up and starting to smell the rat. But then, maybe not – depending on whether there is a similar decline in DVD and VCR rentals.
The films that have been coming out of Hollywood for many months now have been so incredibly bad that one can’t help but wonder: what the bloody hell is going on?? Take for example the “critically acclaimed” comedy (huh?)
“The Life Aquatic” with Bill Murray. This film is dull, pointless, and totally unfunny (I smiled at most a couple of times, and never actually laughed…), and yet one that was most likely a lot of fun to make. The film crew traveled to all these beautiful places on the Mediterranean, staying in charming little hotels, eating great seafood, and very leisurely making the film, probably without any sort of script – the dialogs and situations looked like they were improvised, perhaps after a few glasses of wine. Who would not like to “work” like this? Obviously, the assumption must have been, that, no matter how lousy the final product was going to be, it would be released in theaters and on DVD, and maybe even earn some money, at least covering the expenses of this heavenly trip. Give it a handful of big name stars and most people will end up scratching their heads, thinking that perhaps the humor was a tad “sophisticated”, and so they better keep their mouths shut and not complain, lest they be taken for simpletons.
Another example of the same “genre” is the film
“Sideways” (also a “comedy”) in which two middle-age guys, highly unsympathetic and not in the least funny (ridiculous, pathetic, yes, but that’s different from “funny”, isn’t it?), travel through California tasting wine, talking about wine, and trying to pick up women. I love humor and I’m quick to laugh, but I don’t remember doing that while watching this movie. I remember doing some cringing, though – feeling embarrassed for the characters.
Again, I imagine the whole crew moving from one picturesque “wine country” town to another, drinking a lot, and having a swell time, while every now and then engaging in some casual, relaxed moviemaking, building the script in late night brainstorming sessions, when no lines are bad and no jokes lame, because
we’re all so totally cool, talented, and creative that movies are what happens when we’re simply having fun. Besides, as Michael Moore so eloquently put it, American are likely the dumbest people on the planet (he’s got a point here – after all, so many of them flock to his “documentaries” and “talks”. But then, the supposedly more cultured and intelligent Europeans are nearly kissing the ground he walks on… Go figure)
and so enamored with their “celebrities” (i.e. us) that they will eat anything our bowels can produce.Of course, the simple explanation is that Hollywood just happened to run out of talent and ideas. The fact that they started recycling old cartoons into movies (
“X-Men”, “Fantastic Four”, “Spiderman”) seems to confirm that, but I somehow find it hard to believe. After all, there are interesting books still being written, so it’s not like some sort of a brain virus started eating away people’s creativity… It also does not explain the bizarre stuff like
“The Aristocrats”. This movie (about to open in theaters, or already opened – I don’t follow) is basically one long, exceptionally vulgar, exceptionally lame joke being told again and again... and again... and again… with some modifications by well known, contemporary American comedians throughout this “film”. This joke is supposedly some sort of an “insider” joke, told by comedians to other comedians while the public isn’t listening. It isn’t hard to guess why they would not want to tell this joke in front of a live audience: nobody would laugh and some people would probably get up to leave. There might even be foodstuff thrown on the scene...
It’s relatively easy to find at least one version of this “joke” on the Internet, so I won’t spoil your “fun” if I tell you what it is about. (Although, if you’re going to actually spend money to see this movie,
you are a joke.) A family consisting of a father, a mother, a daughter, and a dog visits a talent agent to pitch their act, which consists of farting, sexual intercourse involving all the characters (yes, the dog and the agent, too), slipping on dog shit, performing fellatio and cunnilingus, etc. (The etc. part is where the different “versions” come in). The “punch line” is this: when the agent asks what this fantastic act is called, the troupe shouts: The Aristocrats!. That’s it. That’s the joke. Are you rolling on the floor, howling with laughter? Me, neither.
Obviously, this is not about the lack of talent – after all, some of these comedians are pretty darn funny in their own acts. It’s really hard to explain this without invoking the idea of some sort of a weird psychological experiment on the unsuspecting public. (Something tells me they did not apply for a permissions to use human subjects. This can potentially be litigated. If you’re a lawyer contemplating a class-action lawsuit, please contact me – I want to be among the plaintiffs.) This is just too crazy to have a benign explanation.